Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Where's my driver?

It was hard enough panting to keep up with the Jones's. But life at County Hall has now become a battle of motorised one-upmanship. Some people blame me for having indulged in what is unkindly referred to as "social bragging". But the mere act of equipping one's humble runabout with a personalised number plate could hardly be described as anything more than honesty. I am proud of my achievements. I believe that my constituents should always be able to recognise and flag me down in the street, provided they can achieve 0 - 60mph in 4.3 seconds. Anyway Eunice encouraged me to scour the countryside for an appropriate number plate, even if it took a long time. She said she would be far too busy to join me because she wanted to buff up her favourite horse brasses . I eventually found my exclusive number attached to an old Ford Prefect in the tumbledown garage of a house near Dulverton. What a coincidence. Alan Jones later purchased this self-same property - "South Warmore" - in June last year for a mere £575,000 (far less than his well-deserved SCC severance package). But where was I ? Oh yes. Cars with fancy number plates. Ken seems to have stuck one on his faithful old Jag and now begins to resemble the shambling figure of George Cole. He could be needing a Minder if all the staff redundancies go through. Maybe the new chauffeur will be muscle bound?