Easy Tiger!

Several good things have emerged from America. The extraordinary golfing (and other) skills of young Mr Woods being only one of them. I am also greatly impressed by the corporate excellence of a company called IBM who can spot talent when they see it. Meet the very lovely Fiona Capstick - a lady who knows a thing or two about the world. You can even find her on Facebook, whatever that is. In fact I am told she is an expert in geography and is currently serving the CIO as Geographic Integration Officer. Well she can spin my globe anytime! Miss Capstick and I will be spending much more time together from January 4th when she takes over as the new managing director of South West One. How splendid that she should be able to so organise her life that there is still time to write wonderful books.

I heartily commend this Capstick classic to you. It is a riproaring read and had me dozing happily long before Eunice returned from her new evening class. She has taken up a very energetic sport which seems to involve a great deal of physical excercise

Where's my driver?

It was hard enough panting to keep up with the Jones's. But life at County Hall has now become a battle of motorised one-upmanship. Some people blame me for having indulged in what is unkindly referred to as "social bragging". But the mere act of equipping one's humble runabout with a personalised number plate could hardly be described as anything more than honesty. I am proud of my achievements. I believe that my constituents should always be able to recognise and flag me down in the street, provided they can achieve 0 - 60mph in 4.3 seconds. Anyway Eunice encouraged me to scour the countryside for an appropriate number plate, even if it took a long time. She said she would be far too busy to join me because she wanted to buff up her favourite horse brasses . I eventually found my exclusive number attached to an old Ford Prefect in the tumbledown garage of a house near Dulverton. What a coincidence. Alan Jones later purchased this self-same property - "South Warmore" - in June last year for a mere £575,000 (far less than his well-deserved SCC severance package). But where was I ? Oh yes. Cars with fancy number plates. Ken seems to have stuck one on his faithful old Jag and now begins to resemble the shambling figure of George Cole. He could be needing a Minder if all the staff redundancies go through. Maybe the new chauffeur will be muscle bound?

Called to account

Despite Wodger's soothing words I decided to make a thorough investigation into this business of the overdue accounts for SouthWest One. As a straight talking sort of guy, I went straight to the top. The Chairman is a very nice man indeed and he put me right about it all in a few moments. Then we had a fascinating conversation on matters much closer to my heart. Mr Titchmarsh, it seems, is a keen horticulturalist who likes nothing better than plunging both hands deep into a sack of peat and looking out for those elusive green shoots of recovery. He sent me a signed copy of his memoirs. Come to think of it Eunice is never happier than when she's on her knees, dibber in hand, giving the weeds a good seeing-to.

Welcome Aboard!

It is always a pleasure to usher new blood into our party. I was thrilled to learn that Steve Gill has decided to quit the Liberal Democrats and join me in my quest to turn Somerset bright blue. For Steve this was a brave move. His background is in the retail trade and the food sector. I believe he has a huge appetite and will add real weight to our team at County Hall. I first got to know Steve when he built this lovely wall at our modest Chilton Polden residence. He collaborated in additional Hux home improvements with some of my County colleagues, though the inspiration for what has been achieved owes everything to the good taste of dear Eunice. Eunice will be taking Steve in hand during the coming weeks and bringing him on as she has so skilfully done with others.

SW1 HUX

Wodger took me to one side and tried hard to explain the details. Apparantly there is a company doing all the council procurement work and much else besides. It is said that this company could save Somerset squillions of pounds. It all sounds so positive no wonder that other local authorities are falling over themselves to get involved. Except for one thing. Apparantly councils are obliged to inspect the books before signing up. "So"- I said to Wodger - "it cannot be good for us if our company has failed to submit its accounts on time. Sounds a bit naughty to me. It would be like a Councillor failing to enter any details at all into the Register of Members Interests" Wodger paused for a while, deep in thought, and then put me straight. "The very fact that this company has failed to submit returns to Companies House means that nobody can check what we've actually done against what we said we would do". I think I understand. I would have run it past Eunice but she said she was popping out to the shops for a while

H1 HUX

I am a man of the people. When I bump into my constituents in the King Alfred Division they often ask - "Hi Hux! Why is it called King Alfred Division?" This is a tricky question. I normally reply with a golfing analogy and mutter something about burned cakes. But the important thing we politicians must all remember is to engage the public and make sure that everyone knows exactly who we are. That is why I am now using the family runabout for many of my journeys into County Hall. The registration plate identifies me to passers-by and also helps me locate the vehicle in the parking lot. There is a serious purpose in subjecting my little black number to the envious gazes of the staff. We have just negotiated a new deal with Atkins to mend our pot-holed roads. This is a really original breakthrough. Atkins believes that if drivers lose weight there will be less strain on the tarmac and so fewer holes. Wodger said it would save us a fortune and who am I, a mere sports consultant, to query his genius. So the Boxster has a purpose. And I get a generous mileage allowance. If the suspension holds out we will all know that the policy is working. Eunice has also been out and about in her own sports car lately. She loves the feel of a little leather gear knob between her perfectly manicured fingers.

The thin end of the wodge

The coming weeks will be unremittingly busy for me. We are now on course for a triumphant relaunch of this computer thing that Wodger keeps telling me about. I cannot, for the life of me, see what was wrong with it in the first place apart from the fact it failed to do what it said on the tin. But Wodge insists that I must not worry. He sent me this e-mail yesterday:



Sent: Mon 12/10/2009 16:11
To: AllUsers
Subject: SAP Release Two

I am pleased to announce the proposed roll out dates for the next phase of SAP, but before doing that I want to say that the decision to proceed with Release Two has not be taken lightly.

There is always some level of upheaval associated with a change programme that involves all managers and staff. However, we want to absolutely minimise disruption with Phase Two by making sure that we incorporate the lessons we have learnt from Release One.

As further assurance, to staff who are working with Release One we will continue to provide support for you, as well.

As we commit to push forward, we will be focussing on the following activities:

full testing of all the applications coming up in Release Two
providing improved training material with a greater emphasis on help and guidance
allowing for 'go/no-go' decisions to be made along the way to make sure we are ready as an organisation
improved checks of data going into SAP to ensure accuracy before we start using it
providing our support teams, consisting of Super Users, floor walkers, change team members and service desk advisors with sufficient training to handle enquiries and to help staff from day one
Proposed Dates

To make sure we are driven by readiness rather than deadline dates, we are using 'proposed' dates at this stage.

23 November 2009 - A new Customer Feedback system to capture complaints, compliments and comments and a new Customer Relationship Management (SAP CRM) system will be implemented. SAP CRM will be used by the Customer Contact centre. This will coincide with the new joint County Council and Taunton Deane Borough Council website, known as Citizen Portal.

4 January 2010 - Employee Self-Service (ESS) and Manager Self-Service (MSS) systems, for everyone who has access, will be implemented. This means we will be using the electronic system instead of paper to record items such as expense claims, sickness and leave requests.

Business Intelligence Reporting - This is information that managers will be able to use to help them make business decisions in future.
Procurement - 2 November 2009
HR - 1 February 2010
More details about these new SAP modules, plus key updates relating to our roll out plan will be provided over the coming weeks.

Please make every effort to read these messages as they will help your understanding of the changes SAP will deliver as well as the benefits it will bring to you and the County Council as a whole.

Roger Kershaw
Corporate Director - Resources

I fear this will mean that I will be obliged to spend rather more time than I would prefer at my County Hall desk. Eunice has taken the news with her usual sang froid. I urged her not to fret in my absences and to concentrate upon her many absorbing hobbies. She is a great fan of one of the stars of some tv crime saga called CSI. Can't think of his name, But Eunice says he reminds her of someone.

Hole in one

"I want to get straight to the point." And what a point he made of doing it. David's conference oratory yesterday was pure Hux. I watched from the comfort of my new chair in the refurbished Conservative members room and rang Eunice straight afterwards. She was a long time answering my call and said she had been panting with excitement throughout. David has this instinctive feel for the people but the quality of his speeches owes much to the oratorical advice he receives. I claim credit for that pithy opening line which sought to capture the moment and succeeded brilliantly. David regards me as a master of the one-liner and, as you can see, frequently seeks my knowing whispers.

Team players

It is a pleasure to be able to bring you two pieces of extremely encouraging news. I am delighted to announce the appointment of my new research guru, Lauren, who will be helping me understand the geometric complexities of curves and graphs. Lauren has an honours degree in something or other. She also possesses extensive ground-level experience. Welcome aboard Lauren! Meanwhile the new man from the team in charge of making our splendid computers function correctly has also been busy. I am happy to pass on his message in total partly because of its positive content but mostly because, despite my extensive business background, I do not understand very much about the small print. That is why we have insisted on bringing in big brains. SOP has had a few teething problems but I am filled with hope now.


A message from Peter Armstrong, SAP Release 2 Deployment leader to all Southwest One staff

Dear Colleagues,

Agreement has been reached between the SAP Project leadership team, the Southwest One leadership team and our authority partners on the roll out dates for the functions in SAP (also known as SAP Release 2 or 'R2'). Further details about the roll out and news from the project will be sent to you over the coming weeks through the e-newswire and from Richard Jones. Please make every effort to read these messages as they will contain important information and dates. Talk to your Change Manager if you have any questions.

The SAP Release 2 programme plan

I'd like to tell you a little more about what I am working on at the moment and the key ingredients to making Release 2 a success. Not only is a successful release 2 important to the authorities, it is also our chance to enhance the reputation of SWOne as an organisation that delivers the very best service. As you know, a successful project doesn't happen by chance; it is achieved by everyone appreciating the steps that need to happen through the entire project from start to finish, along with outstanding team work and a lot of hard work to ensure that all of the components are well planned and executed, with meticulous attention to detail. In the end, success comes down to how well we perform as individuals and as a team associated with the development and implementation of the system, and how we support our staff in the first days and weeks after it is rolled out. There are 12 'Quality Assurance' steps built into the programme plan around these key themes of checking that;

• SAP is ready for roll out


• The service is ready and able to support the release of SAP


• Staff are trained and able to use the new functionality and processes.


• My current focus is ensuring that:

1. Remaining service and project activities such as testing are completed properly and as planned.

2. The plan to manage the 'cut-over' between existing systems and SAP is well constructed and communicated, and as we get closer to the roll out that the tasks, key check points and governance approvals are clearly identified and understood by all those concerned in SWOne and the authorities.

3. We are thorough in checking the data we load, so we are very confident that the information in SAP is accurate.

4. Our support team consisting of Super users, floor walkers, change managers and service desk advisors are ready, and have sufficient training to handle enquiries and fix defects. Between now and Release 2, there will be a number of checks undertaken by our colleagues in the Authorities and Service Line teams to make sure the activities in the SAP programme plan are progressing as planned, and to agree the steps to take if problems arise. Look for updates and news in the e-newswire and messages from Richard.

Best Wishes,

Peter

So that's alright then, isn't it?

Two pins

Once again the flags are flying for my favourite sport. As autumn leaves begin to fall the game takes on a new piquancy. But the sight of the sea also makes me sad. My own beloved vessel will shortly need to be hauled out for her seasonal winter rub-down. This will temporarily disturb Eunice’s passion for life on the poop deck, but the experts say that stubborn barnacles need vigorous anti-fouling. The question is where to berth her. I have considered using the new free car parking space allocated to me at the front of County Hall, but am loathe to risk the wrath of landlubbers. Unfortunately my vital county council duties have this year prevented me from attending Southampton’s Boat Show. I like to keep up to speed with all the latest marine technology. I think I may need some shiny new rowlocks soon. January beckons for the major national event and I sincerely hope dear old Tom will be able to oblige again with a couple of free tickets. Can non-executive directors do that sort of thing? How we miss him in Bridgwater. And how proud he would be of the transformation I have just approved for the Members Room at County Hall. Those new comfy chairs and the softer colour scheme will help us all in our important task of keeping tabs on the public purse. Economies will be necessary in future when the new Chief Executive arrives. I am glad to see that the search for the right person is being conducted by such an affordable company. And I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my investment in new furniture for Members left change from £11,000. Such is the calibre of our new regime that we strive to get results at any price.

Playing away

I have travelled to many fine courses through the length of the land during my match play days. And I have the trophies to prove it. But my heart lies at home with the club that I know best and love most. No other place on the planet offers such a spectacular marine backdrop and richly informed membership. I took Alan round in his days as Chief Executive. He was always more at home in the saddle or with a racket in his hand, but he too could quickly grasp what made me and still makes me so fond of my own club. Naturally the members were saddened at his departure and ask after him still. I was glad to hear that the severance package organised by our County lawyers will see him comfortable in his well-earned retirement. A pension package of £1.26m has been mentioned. Perhaps he will feel free to join me down on the links again one day soon. I will, of course, be ever ready to entertain him. As I said, I love my club. It is Eunice who prefers the thrills and risks of playing away.

A financial handicap

How does golf maths work? I was musing on this matter the other day with my professional mentor the Resources Director. I think his name is Roger. He introduced me to the SouthWest One analogy to explain handicapping. In my favourite game each player, depending on skill, is given a certain number of strokes that they can take off their score. In addition, each hole on the golf course has a number of strokes that the average player should use to make it to the goal. At the end of the game, each of the golf players take their raw score, or the number of actually shots, and then subtract the number of allowed strokes to obtain their net score. As you would expect golf handicaps are second nature to me, but the handicap system in the business world is decidedly more complex as Roger explained: “Each member of the Joint Venture Partnership has an agreed number of procurement transactions depending on size and other factors. If, however, during the game any member chooses to reduce the procurement total then there are financial penalties levied by IBM.” Once Roger had explained what IBM was he patiently sat with me in the canteen using golf tees as counters to help me understand what really happens. Now I am in the picture and regard myself as something of an expert. What it means is that when we cut procurement back – and, by golly, we will – there will be a hefty fine unless we can attract new customers to join the club. I meant to ask Roger why he hadn't forseen this problem when he originally signed the contract but I forgot. So come on Cornwall. Join us in this exciting corporate venture. Sign up to SouthWest One and Somerset will save a few bob. I think that’s right, isn’t it Roger?

Bogeyman

Sometimes it is good to have to eat one's own words. A few weeks ago (it seems like history now) I gave a quote to one of our local journalists about the system IBM have installed to do all manner of clever things at County Hall. I have no idea what it is or does, but I think it is called SAP:

“It is sad to note that with all the resources of IBM and all the promises given, this project is slipping and slipping. The Conservatives have consistently warned of possible delays with the implementation and our worst fears have been realised. This looks like yet another part of County Hall that needs sorting out by the Conservatives if we win the election.”

Well! How wrong I was. A quick call to Alan Thurlow down in Truro and I was convinced. SAP is really a soaraway success. So that's splendid isn't it. He even sent me a link to a new SAP video that confirms the good news straight from the Chief Officer in Germany. Eunice and I spent a very happy holiday in Germany once. I can't remember where. Or why. Perhaps it was our honeymoon.

Green shoots

My dear wife always says, in jest, that I faintly resemble Samuel Pepys the legendary English social diarist. Certainly Sam is one of my firm favourites. It is not widely known that he was instrumental in unwittingly inventing the world's first driver when he crafted a device for flinging stones at unwelcome cats in his garden. But I have a confession to make and it deserves a wider audience which is why I have told the writers of our most excellent magazine Your Somerset all about it. See page 8. Yes I want to be President of the United States. I believe my swing is more than up the task, and all that will be required is a session or two at the local tanning clinic to develop that distinctive Obama glow.

Watch the birdie

So much has happened so quickly

It seems an age since I last had time to post my thoughts on life. Fate has transformed me from a member of the opposition to the very heart of cabinet government in this county. Now I am a mere heart-beat away from the pinnacle of power. That is what Roger tells me, and Roger is an expert. It is no accident that the heirarchy wanted him and him alone to represent the company at their recent conference in Toronto and I know that our Mr Kershaw did a thoroughly sound job. I can't quite remember the name of the company. ICL was it? Or BTM? It doesn't matter. They seem to have lots of good ideas and tell me they can save even more money if we give them a few extra bits to play with. Sounds good to me. I will talk it over with Alan on Friday. Did you know he's having a party. It must be his birthday I think. See you there.

The eagle has landed

You could have knocked me down with a nine iron when they told me. I had no idea whatsoever. As a matter of fact I doubt if many of my golfing chums at the Council knew anything. Or if they did they didn't tell me. But ignorance is no defence and I have made it my business to assemble the facts, memorise the essential details and forget everything thereafter. We call it diplomacy. So it came as a considerable surprise to be told that Alan had fallen out so badly with some young upstart whose name evades me. Naturally my sympathies are all with the Chief. I heard that he had made justifiable complaints about the man's behaviour. Then everything went quiet for a week or so. Or was it a year or so. Never mind. But it has all come right in the end. At least I think it has. By the way if you spot my favourite leather gloves in the changing room do let me know.

Fore!

I am immensely priveleged to chair the Audit and Resources Sub-Committee at Somerset County Council. This has enabled me to come into contact with some of the most able officers currently giving service anywhere in English local government. I must single out the unflappability and good nature of Roger J Kershaw, Corporate Director of Resources, whose honesty in all things financial is a shining beacon to us. Naturally I would also include our Chief Executive who has lifted the entire council from merely average to absolutely superb. It is his efforts that should be most applauded. And if, after the June elections, my party is returned to office I will be championing the cause of our senior officers to my colleagues. These are people we would be proud to work with. They know their stuff. And I know they know because they tell me so.

Teeing Off

When my political colleagues and golfing companions heard that I was about to launch a "blog" there was an collective intake of breath. You could have cut the silence that followed with a knife. But when I explained my reasoning the scales began to lift and the reactions were far more positive. I have been involved in Somerset politics for twenty years. I know the major players very well and have grown to like so many of them. It would be easy to pretend that partisanship divides elected members into cosy party groupings out of which they must never stray. The truth, however, is the precise opposite. I have learned to respect a number of my political opponents. I have gained their trust. This little column may help explain the way I work with others. And I will, from time to time, impart a few tales from the fairways.