Playing away

I have travelled to many fine courses through the length of the land during my match play days. And I have the trophies to prove it. But my heart lies at home with the club that I know best and love most. No other place on the planet offers such a spectacular marine backdrop and richly informed membership. I took Alan round in his days as Chief Executive. He was always more at home in the saddle or with a racket in his hand, but he too could quickly grasp what made me and still makes me so fond of my own club. Naturally the members were saddened at his departure and ask after him still. I was glad to hear that the severance package organised by our County lawyers will see him comfortable in his well-earned retirement. A pension package of £1.26m has been mentioned. Perhaps he will feel free to join me down on the links again one day soon. I will, of course, be ever ready to entertain him. As I said, I love my club. It is Eunice who prefers the thrills and risks of playing away.

A financial handicap

How does golf maths work? I was musing on this matter the other day with my professional mentor the Resources Director. I think his name is Roger. He introduced me to the SouthWest One analogy to explain handicapping. In my favourite game each player, depending on skill, is given a certain number of strokes that they can take off their score. In addition, each hole on the golf course has a number of strokes that the average player should use to make it to the goal. At the end of the game, each of the golf players take their raw score, or the number of actually shots, and then subtract the number of allowed strokes to obtain their net score. As you would expect golf handicaps are second nature to me, but the handicap system in the business world is decidedly more complex as Roger explained: “Each member of the Joint Venture Partnership has an agreed number of procurement transactions depending on size and other factors. If, however, during the game any member chooses to reduce the procurement total then there are financial penalties levied by IBM.” Once Roger had explained what IBM was he patiently sat with me in the canteen using golf tees as counters to help me understand what really happens. Now I am in the picture and regard myself as something of an expert. What it means is that when we cut procurement back – and, by golly, we will – there will be a hefty fine unless we can attract new customers to join the club. I meant to ask Roger why he hadn't forseen this problem when he originally signed the contract but I forgot. So come on Cornwall. Join us in this exciting corporate venture. Sign up to SouthWest One and Somerset will save a few bob. I think that’s right, isn’t it Roger?